You think English is a crazy langage ?

La petite chronique d’humour : paradoxes et idiomes amusants…

do you speak english ?

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant, no ham in hamburger, neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France.

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly and boxing rings are square and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham ? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth ?, one goose, two geese ? one index, two indices ? If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught ?

When pronunciation make sense…

  • we polish the Polish furniture
  • The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
  • I did not object to the object
  • The farm was used to produce produce
  • The bandage was wound around the wound
  • The insurance was invalid for the invalid
  • A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
  • I had to subject the subject to a series of tests
  • The wind was too strong to wind the sail
  • They were too close to the door to close it

When translation is impossible word by word…

To hit the ceiling (péter les plombs)

To carry a torch for someone (avoir un faible pour quelqu’un)

To get under the collar (se mettre en rogne)

To get on like a house on fire (s’entendre à merveille)

To hit rock bottom (toucher le fond)

To go off at the deep end (piquer une crise), but also to go ballistic or to blow one’s top

To have a blast (s’éclater)


You think English is easy ? probably no more  than French ! English was invented by people, not computers and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible